Pain

The key turned in the door, like it had a hundred times before. Walking inside, the door making that familiar sound when closed. Taking a moment to look around at this dwelling. I realized how empty it truly was. Shaking off that feeling and going about my business as I always do. Taking a moment to check messages, just to see if anyone had tried to get a hold of me. Empty, "That's odd, usually there is at least a solicitor or two that calls during the day," I think to myself. Turning on some music to sooth me after a difficult day. The sounds resonate through the room, and no comfort does it bring me. I feel restless, inconsolable and I don't take the time to focus on it. Ignoring it the best that I can, pretending it's not there. "Well time for bed, more to do tomorrow," I say out loud. Retiring to the bedroom, pulling back the covers, climbing into that comfortable place of warmth. Even these satin sheets and heavy comforter don't feel right this evening. Turning over on my side, my mind wanders back to a happier time. A time which there was more warmth between these sheets than there is now. I fight the feeling, but succumbing, tears still manage to find their way to the surface. "How long will it hurt like this?," I ask, I now there is no answer to be had. No one can face this but me. I'm the one who is here because of choices made. Bearing this burden falls upon who has created it. Never having guessed that love could bring with it so much pain. Thinking that if I had it to do over, you know, even knowing how much I hurt now, without hesitation I'd do it all over again. I'd love her anyways....